One of Our Own
by nikonic
Summary: When Emily Prentiss becomes the target of a serial killer, will her team save her in time?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Author's Note: Sorry for the ridiculous length. It seemed too choppy if I split it into a bunch of chapters. Hope it doesn't deter readers. I love reviews so if you have an idea of where the story should go, let me know.

Rating: M for abuse and language

He waited silently inside her front closet. He had followed her for months. He knew to expect her random schedules, so he patiently waited for her to return. She hadn't been home in days; this fact would prove to be in his favor because his plan hinged on her being exhausted and weary. It would be even better if her team had the next few days off; no one would think anything of not speaking to her for a few days, except maybe the blonde. He saw the relationship that they easily kept from everyone else. He figured a night apart wouldn't worry the blonde and when she realized her lover was missing, he would have his dear Emily Prentiss far away. He looked at the brunette and he knew he had to have her. If he couldn't he would die trying.

He felt like he waited a lifetime but he knew she was worth it. As soon as he heard her front door open and listened to the single set of booted heels against the hard wood floors, he knew this was his chance. He waited for her to remove her gun and holster before he silently left his hiding closet and quickly covered her mouth with a cloth.

The case had been a tiring one, but they were only off the clock for the evening, or what was left of it. Emily had finished her paperwork in record time to get home in the prospect of a very hot shower and her comfy queen size bed. Though she and JJ had been dating for months and the team knew about their relationship, each woman needed her space after certain cases. This case had been one of those, and despite its intensity, the team already had another case requiring urgent attention. They were all supposed to be in the bullpen by 7 AM the next morning, and Emily groaned thinking of another early morning. Opening her apartment door, she could barely keep her eyes open as exhaustion overtook her. Before she could realize what was happening, someone had come from behind and covered her mouth with a cloth. She smelled the sweet scent of chloroform and the room started to spin before turning to darkness completely.

She woke up with a splitting headache and tried to remember where she was. The events of the previous night flooded her memory as she tried to move her arms, only to realize she was handcuffed in place. The sound of handcuffs clanking together alerted her captor.

"Well there you are Sleeping Beauty. I was almost afraid I wouldn't get to have any fun with you."

"Who are you? Where am I?" Emily asked trying to regain her composure. She looked around and realized she was in some sort of basement. Looking down, she became aware of her lack of clothing. She sat leaning against the base of the wall in her underwear with her hands handcuffed slightly above her head. She could not think of any sort of an escape plan. She just had to hope that her team would find her.

"I get to ask the questions," he replied softly but forcefully. "When were you supposed to meet your team?"

"7 AM today. You know they will notice I'm gone and come looking for me." She was finding it hard to profile her attacker with her headache threatening to burst her skull.

"It's okay. I've already left them clues to find you. They shouldn't be receiving the video until a little after 7 anyway. We have some time to ourselves." He responded and he walked closer to her. "What should we do to occupy ourselves? I have a few ideas but I'd prefer to have the audience. I guess we could always start them off in suspense though." With his remark, he quickly drew a knife and easily slid his way across Emily's pale stomach. He watched as the blood appeared around the recent wound and then lifted his face to watch her grimace in pain. "This way," he whispered into her ear as he ran his hands gingerly up her sides, "they will know I'm serious. If I can't have you, no one will."

"Guys, conference room in 5. Where's Emily?" JJ questioned the group as she balanced 7 extremely large case files. It was 7:05.

"I don't think we have 5 minutes. Let's start now. We can catch her up later." Agent Hotchner spoke from the ledge above the bullpen. The group piled into the conference room as Garcia pulled up her laptop in case she needed to immediately pull up information pertaining to the case.

"Okay, we have nine missing women, all kidnapped from their homes in the middle of the night. All nine women are in high professions located in the DC/Georgetown area and were kidnapped 3 days before they were found dead. All were found in basements with evident handcuff bruises as well as evidence of torture and rape. All are brunette women with brown eyes, ranging in height from 5'7" to 5'9"."  
"Wow, they all look exactly like…" Reid interjected before Garcia shouted, "Oh no! Emily!"

"Yes, the victims do resemble Emily, but there have been cases in which we have all fit the victim description."  
"No, Hotch, Emily is… she's been… Sir, Emily looks to be the tenth victim." Garcia managed to get out. "You need to see this."

Hotch and Rossi leaned over and gasped at the video on screen. Emily sat against a brick wall in her underwear with her hands handcuffed and her stomach bleeding. "Morgan, get her out of here." Rossi said motioning to JJ, who stood stunned at the opposite end of the conference table. Morgan rose to try and coax the blonde from the room, but JJ ran to see what was on Garcia's screen.

"Oh god. EMILY!" JJ screamed.

"Come on, baby girl. You don't need to see this. Let's go get some coffee. Get some fresh air."

"By now, your family has received a link to watch our fun. See that camera over there? They are watching you now and there is no way they can find you." He walked over to the camera and maliciously spoke to the team, "Your dear agent is my final act. She is the one for me. This, all of them, they were for her. I've perfected my techniques and starting 8 hours ago, you have 3 days to find her. Or she dies. And tell her precious blonde that I will be very loving and fulfilling. Yes, I do think that's the correct word. She will be very fulfilled after I've had my way with her. Oh, and don't expect me to go down without a fight. If I can't have her, no one can." He moved back to Emily and violently kicked her before stepping out of the view of the camera.

"Garcia, is this a live feed? Is there sound? Is there anyway we can track where it's coming from? Do we have anything?" Rossi questioned, flustered by the images of the agent he viewed as a daughter.

"I… sir… it's a live feed. I can't run visual programs because there are no windows. It seems like it has the capability for sound, but the bastard controls when and what we hear. I can record the bits he does let us hear and scan it for surrounding noise. Other than that, sir, we have nothing."

Reid sat staring at the screen. "Wait, there he is." The team sat in silence as they listened to the UnSub speak directly to them, threatening their family member.

"By fulfilled, he doesn't mean…." Reid asked.

"Yes, Reid. He means fulfilled sexually. Evidence of rape was present in the last nine victims. Garcia, get that video on the screen and take JJ to your office. We need Morgan in here. Guys, grab a file. We need to figure out who he is and where he is keeping her. And we need to do it soon." Rossi instructed and everyone quickly went about his or her assigned tasks.

Garcia found Morgan and JJ sitting at a table with two untouched cups of coffee. Morgan looked at Garcia and knew something had happened. "JJ, honey, let's go to my office. Rossi needs Derek in the conference room. We will find her, okay? We will bring her back home," Garcia spoke trying to soothe the obviously distressed blonde. Seeing she had zoned out, Morgan quietly whispered into Garcia's ear.

"What happened?"  
"He's sending us a live video feed of Emily. She's handcuffed to a wall in her underwear and her stomach is bleeding. He kicked her after telling us that she was the object of his desire the whole time and all the other women were just trial runs more or less. He sent a special message to JJ about how he will be loving and fulfilling. I'm scared, Derek. We need to bring her back. This will crush her." Garcia whispered, nodding her head slightly to the blonde, who still was lost in her own thoughts.

"We'll bring her back. You hear me JJ? We will bring her back." Morgan spoke, now directly to JJ, though it was equally for Garcia's benefit.

"Go save our princess," Garcia told Morgan as he left to review files in the conference room.

Two days later, the team still had yet to locate the Unsub or where he was holding Emily. The live feed still continued to show a bruised, bloodied, barely conscious Emily handcuffed to the wall.

"How are these victims connected? We need to figure out how he had access to his victims. He barely has any time between the murder of one victim and the kidnapping of the next." Hotch questioned, his frustration evident in his voice.

"He's back." Morgan announced. "God, I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Wait, he's uncuffing her from the wall." The team watched helplessly as the Unsub pulled a semi-conscious Emily to her feet and dragged her closer to the camera lens, reactivating the sound for the video.

"Wake up, Emily." He shouted to the brunette's weak form. "Get up. You are supposed to be a fighter. Come on. Get up." He pulled Emily to her feet and her head hung as he dragged her to the camera lens. "Okay, your so-called family sucks at their job. It has been two days and they still haven't found you. Do you think they stopped caring about you? They gave up on you. You are a helpless case. You are better off with me. I care about you. Wake up!" He shouted again, this time letting her fall to the ground. Pulling a bag of smelling salts out of his pocket, he held them under her nose until she suddenly took a deep breath, regaining her consciousness with the strong scent. "Now, get up," he ordered pulling her to her feet. "You have 20 hours to find her before she dies, and since you have nothing, I'm going to have her say her good-byes."

"What?" Emily mumbled, trying to remain conscious. "You want me to say good-bye to them?"

"Yes."

"I… okay. Could I please have some privacy?" She pleaded with the nameless man.

"You have been good up to this point, so I will oblige and bring you a chair. You have two minutes." He said before going up the stairs and bolting the basement door.

"He said you all could hear me and see me. If so, please get JJ out of the room. She doesn't need to remember me like this. You are all my family, and I don't know what I would do without you. I know I rarely show my emotions, but I love each and every one of you. Morgan, you act as my older brother and my best friend. It is your support that gets me through each day. Reid, you are phenomenal. I don't think you understand how amazing you are. Your sweetness and your quirky factoids keep me smiling through the toughest of cases. Hotch, you look out for me and give me freedom to learn. It's your paternal nature that holds this family together. Please remember to smile and if you can't, remember I love you and you have a smile that comforts those around you. Rossi, your caring nature comforts me. You are a confidante and a friend and I've always wanted to thank you for your support in everything I do. It means the world to me. Pen, you are something else you know. You have an energy that invigorates the room and hearing your voice can always put a smile on my face. Please take care of JJ. I don't want to leave her; I don't want to leave any of you, but it looks like I may not have a choice. Jennifer, my love, my life, please forgive me. I never meant to leave you with these memories. You are my rock and my anchor. Your smile never ceases to amaze me and your eyes give me comfort when nothing else can. I want you to know I love you with my whole heart always. Move on and be happy. You don't need to die with me." As she spoke these final words, tears cascaded down her face. "Here he comes. I have to go. I love you all."

"Say goodbye," came his harsh voice from the stairs.

"Good bye my family. I love you."

He walked behind her and dragged her up, pulling the chair out from underneath her. "Now your family can watch us really have some fun. I'm sure they've enjoyed the torture and the beatings. I hope your dear JJ is in the room to watch you get pleasured like you have never been pleasured before."

He dropped her on a mattress in the corner of the basement, handcuffing her to the wall again. He returned to the camera and refocused the lens on the mattress.

"In my excitement, I've decided to reduce your time limit. She has 8 hours to live."

Garcia gasped as the Unsub dragged Emily closer to the camera. Emily's wounds looked much worse close up. She glanced at her JJ's sleeping figure and pulled out a set of headphones. Garcia had given JJ a few sleep meds to help the younger blonde. Garcia listened to Emily's goodbye and was silently sobbing by the end of her speech. Garcia helplessly watched as Emily was dragged to a mattress and handcuffed to the wall. She couldn't watch this. She couldn't watch this ultimate violation.

She tried to regain her thought. She felt so angry._ I don't know where to start. I don't know where I haven't looked. How could he get in past her security system? How could he take an FBI agent? _Her train of thought was broken by a loud sob.

"What's he doing to her?" JJ shouted through tears as she stared intently at the monitor. "Garcia! What is he doing to her? Please tell me."

"He made her say her good byes to us. He changed the time limit. He's giving us 8 hours."

"What's he doing now? Is there sound? Give me the headphones," JJ demanded.

"Precious, that's not a good idea. You don't want to do that. Think about it first."

"I know what I want. Give me the headphone Penelope," JJ responded furiously before ripping the headphones out of Garcia's hands.

The noises she heard broke her heart. She listened to the love of her life plead with her captor, begging him not to touch her, not to penetrate her. She listened to him ignore Emily's pleas and her subsequent crying.

"Who is this son of a bitch," shouted Morgan. "He's raping her and beating her and there is nothing we can do about it. We still can't find anything."

The room was filled with the sound of Emily pleading and crying.

"Shut up, Emily. Enjoy this pleasure." James shouted. "You needed a man to fulfill your sexual needs. Stop crying." But Emily couldn't stop.

Morgan and Reid stared at the screen helplessly as he reached for the knife next to the mattress. He sliced her stomach and when she continued to cry, he punched her, effectively silencing her. Reid ran from the room and expelled the contents of his lunch into the nearest trashcan as Morgan furiously paced around the conference room cussing. Morgan's phone rang; he answered with a surly "what" without checking the caller id.

"Were you watching the feed?"

"Yes. Every single bit of it. God damnit why can't we find this bastard?"

"I think I did." Garcia responded.

"She got him. She found him. Garcia knows who this son of a bitch is. She's trying to get us an address right now."

"Who is he?" Rossi shouted, anxious to find his missing agent.

"James Anderson. Four of the nine victims have the same security system at their work place. Two others have that same system at their homes. The other three have security systems that were purchased by the expanding security company in the last couple of months. And this company purchased Emily's security company over a year ago. James Anderson, who's badge picture could be a match to our Unsub, made visits to all locations either to fix the systems or install new software."  
"I got an address. 489 Elm." Garcia sang out through the speakerphone. "Bring our princess home."

_Hang on Emily. We are coming to get you. _Garcia thought to herself.

Morgan kicked down the door as the agents quickly cleared the first story.

"Guys, basement door. Garcia, look at the feed. Where is she? Does he have weapons?"

"She's slumped against the wall in the corner handcuffed. She doesn't look conscious. I don't see him and SHIT my feed went blank."

"He knows we are here. GO!" Hotch spoke, motioning for his team to enter the basement.

"FBI! James Anderson, put the weapon down. Step away from her."  
"Well look at that," James replied smugly. "It took you long enough. Did you enjoy the show? Is that what took you so long to find us? You were too entertained. I meant what I said earlier if I can't have her no one can."  
"Last time, put down the weapon and step away from her."

"In the time it takes you to shoot me. I will have already killed her." As he spoke he prepared himself to stab the brunette. Two gunshots fired and James' body covered Emily's, the knife skidding off to the side.

"EMILY!" Morgan shouted as he rushed towards her. Hotch pulled James away from Emily checking his pulse, relieved to find the man dead.

"Reid, call the paramedics. We need to get her to a hospital now. Rossi, call Garcia; have the girls meet us at the hospital." Hotch ordered as he watched Morgan uncuff Emily.

"Come on Princess. Wake up for me baby girl." Morgan cradled her body close to his. "Stay with me, Emily." Morgan frantically called out to the brunette, who had yet to open her eyes. "Princess, JJ needs you. I need you. You have to wake up for me. Come on; show me those gorgeous eyes."

The paramedics arrived and put Emily on a gurney while rushing her to the ambulance. Morgan looked down at his hands, realizing they were covered in his best friend's blood.

JJ was frantically pacing Garcia's office.

"Give me good news." Garcia pleaded as she answered her cell.

"She's not dead and James Anderson is. He stabbed her as he went down. We are on our way to the hospital now. Morgan is in the bus with Emily. It's serious Garcia. She's lost a lot of blood. You both need to get to the hospital now. Before you leave double check Prentiss' next of kin. If she changed it to JJ, JJ might have a challenging decision to make."

"Is it really that bad, Hotch?"  
"Yes. There's a possibility and we need to know in case the Ambassador decides to grace us with her presence." Hotch responded only half-sarcastically.

"Okay. We'll see you there."

"What? What happened? Is she alive? Is she okay? Did they shoot the bastard?"

"She's alive kitten, but her condition is serious. I said we would meet them at the hospital."

Morgan was pacing the waiting room when Garcia and JJ arrived. His breathing was erratic and he still hadn't changed clothes. Emily's blood was covering his shirt and jeans.

"How is she? Where is she? I need to see her. I need to see her now." JJ demanded as she ran into the waiting room. Morgan turned to see her when the two walked in, temporarily stopping his pacing.

The team looked around at each other, silently deciding who should speak. "She's in surgery. It's pretty bad- deep lacerations, dislocated arm, and bruises everywhere. There was evidence of sexual assault. She's still unconscious. I'm sorry, Jayje. Hotch just stepped away to call the Ambassador."

"Oh fantastic. I can't wait to see her. My intense love for one of my best friend's family is terrifying," Garcia said sarcastically.

"Is she really that bad?" Reid asked, "I mean the Ambassador, not Emily. I mean… um… I'm sorry. Never mind." JJ had walked away to go talk to a nurse. "I really should learn to filter before speaking," Reid muttered to himself.

"Kid, she's just stressed. We all are. And to answer your question, yes, the Ambassador is that bad. To say she and Emily have no relationship maybe an understatement, and speak of the devil, here she comes."

"My God, that was quick," Reid muttered again to himself.

"Where is Agent Hotchner? Where is my daughter? Where is the surgeon in charge? Where is the head nurse? I need information and I need it now." Ambassador Prentiss shouted as she strode into the waiting room. She looked at the team sitting in the waiting room. "Why are you all just sitting here aimlessly? I need answers. Go get them for me."

"Ambassador, we've received all the information possible at this moment as your daughter is undergoing surgery, and we would be willing to share it with you if you would sit down calmly and lower your voice." Rossi spoke directly to the Ambassador, not shirking away from her menacing, powerful stature.

"Willing to share it with me? Excuse me, Agent Rossi, but do you know who I am and the powerful connections I maintain? As soon as my daughter's state is strong enough, I will be moving her to a private facility where you all will be able to visit during visiting hours with my approval. Is that understood?"

"Excuse me, Ambassador, but you know longer have the power of attorney over your daughter. She changed her next of kin. If you continue to cause a ruckus, I will have security remove you." Hotch had reappeared, immediately taking charge of the situation before the stress of the elder woman's presence added to the stress of having one of their own in such painful circumstances.

"I am her mother. I have the right to take care of my daughter. Right now, she is obviously not being taken care of as all of you are sitting around the waiting room doing nothing."

"I will warn you only once more. If you continue to cause a disruption and do not lower your voice, you will be removed. You are no longer your daughter's next of kin, and, thus, have no further say over her hospitalization accommodations."

"Whom is her next of kin listed as?" JJ inquired quietly, the stress of having her girlfriend in surgery added to the presence of the Ambassador and her intense exhaustion finally taking its toll.

"You are," Hotch responded. "She spoke to me about changing it a couple of months ago. I had Garcia check and the paperwork has been filed."

The Ambassador huffed her disapproval before turning on her heels to leave. "Agent Hotchner, I expect a phone call immediately after any news is discovered." The woman didn't leave time for a response.

"You weren't kidding. That woman is like a tornado of hatred, stress, and Chanel No. 5." Reid commented after the retreating form.

"I'm sorry, Reid, but how on Earth do you know what Chanel No. 5 smells like?" Garcia questioned, still trying to lighten the mood in the waiting room.

"Hotch, if I'm her next of kin, does that mean I will have to make a decision on pulling the plug or not?"

"Baby girl, don't think like that. She's strong. She'll pull through. She loves you too much to give up."

"God I hope so Morgan. I don't know what I would do without her." Morgan pulled the blonde into a tight hug, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be right back. Anybody need anything?" Morgan asked before turning to find his go bag and same much-needed caffeine.

The hours passed slowly with the team leaving in bits and pieces and then returning. JJ, however, was a fixture in the waiting room. There were so many thoughts swirling around in her head. She needed Emily to wake up and she needed to hold her lover, kiss her, talk to her, and see her smile. She needed to tell Emily something important. Instinctively, the blonde ran a hand over her stomach, thinking of the great news she needed to tell Emily… if Emily pulled out of this. _When _Emily pulled out of this, she scolded herself for thinking such thoughts.

"Whatcha thinking about, kitten?" Garcia asked.

"Just something I need to tell Emily about when she wakes up."

"Is she out of surgery yet?"

"No. I haven't heard anything else. It's driving me crazy."

"So talk to me. Get your mind off things, or at least try."

"I'm pregnant. Emily and I found a sperm donor. We are starting a family. We bought a house and we need to pick out paint colors, so we can move in."

Garcia sat stunned, "You're pregnant? As in with child? As in with Emily Prentiss' child? As in my future niece or nephew? Seriously?"

"Yeah. You're the only one who knows. God, Emily doesn't even know we're pregnant. She needs to wake up, and it needs to be now." JJ sat with her head in her hands.

It was early morning, and all six members of the team sat in the waiting room with fresh cups of coffee. It had been hours since they had heard anything. A doctor in a white lab coat came towards the group and asked for the family of Emily Prentiss. All six people shot up and immediately started bombarding the doctor with questions.

"I can answer all of your questions in a moment. Emily is in recovery now. She had internal damage to some of her organs due to the knife wounds. She flat lined once on the table, but we were able to bring her back and repair most of the damage. We preformed a rape kit and it's being sent for processing. She's yet to wake up, but she should wake fairly soon. I can only allow two people in the room at once until further notice. Now for your questions."  
"Are you saying she will make a full recovery?"

"Yes, she will be fine. Some physical therapy and a couple of months for her wounds to heal entirely and she will be ready to reenter the field. Mentally is another story entirely, but that's not my specialty. She's in room 304."

JJ walked towards the room; letting the other five decide the order they would get to visit the brunette.

As she walked in the room, JJ gasped. Her beautiful girlfriend lay on the bed with wires feeding out of nowhere and bruises everywhere. There was a steady beeping, which provided JJ comfort that her girlfriend was, in fact, still living. The blonde made her way carefully over to Emily's side and picked up her hand, holding it between hers.

"Emily, baby, I was so worried. I need you to wake up now. I have some great news for you. We're going to have a baby; the two of us, we are going to have a family. You need to wake up, so I can see your gorgeous eyes. I love you so much, Em. I can't lose you." JJ put her head down placing a gentle kiss on Emily's hand.

There was a knock on the door as Morgan stuck his head in.

"Hey baby girl. Can I come in?"

"Of course Morgan. You know how much she looks up to you? In this weird little family of ours, you are her big brother. She cares so much about you and what you think."

Morgan smiled in spite of the situation as he thought back to the teasing, nagging times between him and Emily. To anyone just walking in off the street, the two looked to be flirty. Yet to those who knew them, to their family, the two acted like the closest of siblings, always trying to outdo the other and jumping in on jokes and teasing.

"You know, before the two of you started dating, you had her stomach in knots. My god, Jayje, she was head over heels from day one. I don't even remember which case it was, but she and I went out for drinks afterwards. It was just the two of us, and I definitely encouraged her to have one too many drinks. But anyhow, this blonde chick walks in the bar and saunters over to the bartender. Princess, she nearly choked on her beer thinking it was you. I started teasing her about it and she let something slip about those baby blues of yours. It didn't take a profiler to tell she was hooked. The next day, she was so embarrassed, but threatened to shred me to pieces if I told anyone. I might have been equally as happy as the two of you when you finally got together." He smiled genuinely at the blonde who was blushing. She didn't interrupt him, so he continued. "She called me after you decided to come out as a couple. I could hear the smile in her voice; I had never seen or heard her so happy. And yeah know, JJ, this girl right here- she knows me better than anyone ever has. She's my best friend."

"You shot him, didn't you?" JJ asked.

"Twice in the chest, and I didn't even blink. A wise woman once said, you do what you have to do to protect your family. I just wanted to get to her side and get her back to you. I would have faced an army just to see a smile on her beautiful face. She's going to be okay. You are her whole world, and she would never give up on a love like that." He smiled at JJ, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder while placing a kiss to her forehead. "Now you, Princess, when you wake up, you own me new a shirt, but Emily, I want nothing more than to see you smile. I'll be here when you wake up; all of us will. You're strong, and you can pull through. Taunting Reid just isn't as much fun with the amazing back up you provide." He squeezed the brunette's hand and closed his eyes, praying that Emily would wake up.  
"I'm going to head outside, so Garcia can come in. That woman, love her to death, but she almost handcuffed me to the nurse's desk so she could be in here first." JJ smiled at the image Morgan's words brought to mind.

"Thanks, Derek, for everything." Morgan tilted his head in a nod and slowly walked back out of the room.

"Okay, Emily. You have a room full of people waiting anxiously for you to wake up. Now would be an amazing time for you to wake up. God, I miss you so much it hurts." She was brought from her thoughts when the energetic blonde knocked and slid into the room.

Garcia's gasp was similar to that of JJ's when she had first seen Emily. "Oh kitten."

JJ wasn't exactly sure who Garcia was talking to, but at the moment it didn't seem to matter one way or the other. The rest of the team came in and out, but it all seemed like a blur. JJ never let go of Emily's hand; she was afraid if she let go Emily would no longer be laying there.

It was long past visiting hours, and the blonde had yet to go home. She continued talking to Emily rambling on and on about anything and everything. She didn't want to sleep in case Emily woke up; she didn't want the brunette to wake up and be alone. At one point, however, her eyelids became heavy, and despite her desire to stay awake and watch over Emily, she fell asleep with her head awkwardly leaning against the hospital bed, her hands still intertwined with Emily's.

Emily slowly came to her senses, not wanting to open her eyes in case she was still in Anderson's basement. First, she noticed she was not restrained, and then immediately she felt a warm hand holding hers. Struggling to open her eyes, Emily was blinded by the light in the hospital. When her eyes adjusted, she smiled down at the blonde, asleep against the bed.

"I love you, Jennifer. You pulled me through," Emily whispered hoarsely, trying to regain her voice while not waking the slumbering woman.

As she spoke she started to realize what hurt, and despite the pulsating aches and pains, Emily knew she would refuse the meds. She took a deep breath, noticing the sharp pain in her ribs followed by a similar ache in her stomach. Other than that, everything seemed to hurt simultaneously, and she couldn't discern what hurt where or why. She suddenly coughed and her rib cage felt like it was on fire. The blonde woke up with a start and looked on at the brunette wincing in pain.

"Is this a dream? You're awake. You're alive."  
"Hey Jayje. Sorry I woke you. You looked… comfortable?" Emily joked sarcastically. "Come here," the brunette continued. She pulled JJ's face up to her own, placing a soft kiss to the other woman's lips. "This is not a dream. I'm awake and I'm here. I would never leave you."

"I love you, Em." JJ responded, tears shining in her eyes.

"Look who has decided to join us," joked a nurse, who popped her head in. "I'll go grab a doctor."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but oh the fun I would have if I did.

Rating: M

Doctors filed in and out, but JJ didn't seem to notice. Emily was alive and she was awake. She had never left Emily's side. The two talked about the house or the baby, and occasionally the brunette would fall asleep. The whole team stopped by Morgan and Garcia staying the longest.

JJ was trying to find a way to talk about the Ambassador's presence when the other woman walked into the hospital room.

"Hello Agent Jareau. Would you give us a moment?"

"Mother, whatever you came to say, you can say in front of JJ."

"Em, it's not a big deal. I'll go grab some coffee. I'll be right outside if you need me," JJ placed a soft kiss to Emily's forehead as she moved past the Ambassador.

As JJ walked into the hospital hallway, she noticed Garcia sitting in the lobby with Morgan.

"Have you both been here this whole time? I thought you left over an hour ago."

"You know we wouldn't leave you here. We just wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to tell Emily the good news," Garcia winked at JJ.

"What good news? I don't understand. Why does she always get to know things before me? I'm so out of the loop," Morgan whined from his seat.

"Emily wants to tell you. You are more than welcome to go talk to her," JJ informed him. Morgan made a move to get up before stopping in his tracks.

"The Ambassador's in there right? Oh, there is no way I'm walking into that fire pit. I'll wait," Derek mumbled.

"My big, bad, FBI agent is afraid of someone's mom," Garcia teased with a smirk.

"Not just anyone's mom, Emily's mom. You've met her. I deserve to be scared." He looked to JJ for confirmation of his fears, and she nodded with a slight grimace.

"There is a reason I'm out here," JJ continued with the banter. "Where did you find some decent coffee? I'm sick of this hospital swill."

"Right this way, my love," the perky blonde replied, standing to lead JJ to the nurse's lounge.

Within minutes, Ambassador Prentiss was exiting the room and whished past him without so much of a nod. Cautiously, he stood to go visit his best friend.

"Hey there baby girl. That was a relatively quick conversation for the Ambassador."  
"Oh year. She's **thrilled** with my life choices, and she makes it very well known every time she gets the chance."

"Yeah, you've got your hands full with that one," Morgan joked as he nodded his head towards the door most recently vacated by the Ambassador. "But your gorgeous girlfriend out there told me you have some good news for me. And as happy as I am that are you alive and breathing, I could really use some good news right about now." Emily smiled, knowing full well how worried Morgan must have been. Morgan continued, "And can I mention how totally unfair it is that Penelope knew before I knew? You're going to give me a complex, woman."

"Alright, alright, take it easy. You're going to be an uncle," Emily said, blurting out the good news as to not further torture her best friend. Morgan first looked extremely excited and then got a strange look on his face.

"No, no, not from that," Emily clarified, not wanting to put a damper on the mood by justifying the event with words. "JJ and I found a sperm donor. She's pregnant. We're going to have a baby, and you, sir, are going to be an uncle."

"Em, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you," Morgan congratulated while leaning in to place a kiss on Emily's forehead.

"Oh, and we will be commandeering your services as we are moving into a new house that needs paint and all that jazz. We will also be using those big strong muscles of yours when we need to move all the boxes."

"No. You're not going to fit all of your stuff and all of JJ's stuff into one house unless it's a mansion or a 9-story house. You are the queen of collecting useless junk."

"Hey, it's not useless. All of it has some sort of sentimental value and it's not my fault I have a mild addiction for shoes."

"Yeah, that's the one girly thing about you. And, Emily, mild addiction doesn't begin to cover it. You have a closet for your shoes alone."

The two continued their joking and laughter could be heard from the hallway as Garcia and JJ entered the room.

"Garcia, he's making fun of me!" Emily tattled with a brilliant smile on her face.

"Oh, my chocolate god is just reveling in the fact that his best friend is fully functional, but you, if you want to get any of this," Garcia continued, running her hands down her sides seductively, "you will be nice to her. Got it?"

"You ruined my fun," Morgan smirked at Emily. "And, I'm in the loop now. I still don't appreciate being left out of the loop to begin with, but now ladies, you have a sexy stud in your midst. I'm in the circle alright."

"Oh stop peacocking, the Ambassador knew before you knew." Emily taunted.

"What?" Three stunned voices echoed in the room.

"She knows? About the baby?" JJ stuttered, confused as to how the Ambassador could have come to know such information. After all, the world was still spinning on its axis and she would bet money on the Ambassador's reaction to such news. Such a reaction would probably knock the world of its rotating axis and cause the Earth to spiral madly into the Milky Way.

"Yeah. She wasn't exactly happy with my circumstance, my job, or my change to her position as next of kin. I told her you were pregnant, and it was one of those things. I didn't care know how she'd react, and she's my mother. I wanted her to know. She wants to set up a trust fund for the baby and for you, Jayje. She's coming around, or at least, she seems to want to change things. It's a start."

"Then why did she blaze out of here like a bat out of hell?" Morgan wondered aloud.

"Something about an assignment or a political dilemma. Whatever it was it's not the first time. She'll be back," Emily replied.

"Ok so go back. She's okay with a baby? She wants to give the baby money? How much money?"  
"It's not really her decision about the baby, but she seemed almost happy. We'll see how long that lasts, but the money- it's a stipulation of an increase in familial obligations or something similar to that. When the baby is born, peanut and you will receive trust funds. But this is all stuff we can iron out later. Has anyone said when I can get the hell out of this hospital?" Emily tried to quickly change the subject as she envisioned JJ would protest at the thought of receiving any money for starting a family with the woman she loved.

"Em, you've been awake less than 10 hours," Morgan pointed out.

"Exactly. I'm a-okay, quite functional in fact. Don't look at me like that Garcia. Does it actually surprise you that I don't want to stay in a hospital?"

Resigned, Garcia looked at JJ before saying, "I'll go ask a nurse. She's going to laugh at my request to let a patient who up until 10 hours ago was comatose, but there's not much I wouldn't do for that smile right about now."

The night continued in similar fashion with news that Emily would be released in a couple of days depending on the healing of her arm and the multiple knife wounds. Finally, everyone had left for the evening, and JJ looked at Emily with a gentle, loving look in her eyes.

"So peanut, as I believe you called him or her earlier, gets a trust fund?"

"Yes."

"How large of a fund are we talking about?"

"I don't know the specifics, but I'm assuming it's close to the amount of mine."

"Numbers, Em."

"A couple of million or more. It's a family fortune from my grandparents, and I don't know how it's been invested or how it's multiplied. But my grandparents left a designated sum of money for any future children or spouses."

"That's a ton of money, Em."  
"I know, but I want peanut to have everything within reason. I'm not going to try and steal the moon or anything ridiculous like that, but I want peanut to go to the best schools and get the best education. I can use my fund, which is more than enough to cover you, me, and as many children as we would like to have for an indefinite number of years."  
"We're not going to use your fund to support our family. I have no problem having a fund for peanut, but I want him or her to understand that money doesn't grow on trees."

"We've talked about this just not the specifics of having a trust fund, but it can be set up in a parallel format to the way mine was for my childhood. If we look over that plan and decide we want to have more control over it, we change it. But, Jayje, peanut isn't the only one who gets a trust fund."

"I'm a familial obligation now?" JJ joked slightly trying to hide her discomfort about receiving such a large sum of money.

Emily let out a humored sigh. "Of course not, but I have a question to ask you."  
"What is it, love?"

Emily pulled out a dark velvet box. JJ gasped when she saw the box and looked questioningly at Emily.

"Jennifer, you are my everything. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms. I love you so much. I can't even put into words how much you mean to me. Will you marry me?"

JJ had tears brimming in her eyes. "Of course! I would love to marry you, Em. One question: how did you get a ring here?"

"I have secret elves, or rather one big, tall, chocolate elf as Garcia would call him. He was mildly excited to be in on the secret before Garcia. He did a happy dance."

"Morgan? Derek Morgan did a happy dance?"

"Yeah, definitely something I will never forget. That and the moment my beautiful fiancé said yes." Emily grinned, her smile reaching both corners of her mouth. JJ placed a kiss to Emily's lips.

"Fiancé, I like the sound of that. I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm pregnant, engaged, and moving into a new house."

Looking into Emily's face, JJ's smile matched the one plastered on Emily's face.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Rating: M for this chapter, but just for safety

Three days pasted by relatively quickly with the constant stream of visitors and nurses. Finally, Emily was signing release papers and she couldn't wait to get home.

"I don't need a wheel chair. I'm fine. I can walk."

"Hospital policy. Sit your butt in the chair or I can carry you out wedding style. The choice is yours," Morgan countered as JJ smirked at the exchange.

Emily grumbled a sassy response under her breath before moving to sit in the wheel chair.

"This is stupid. I can walk."  
"Yeah, yeah. Keep complaining, and there's a large possibility I will leave you in this hospital."

"You wouldn't dare leave me here. I'm going to tell Garcia on you. Be afraid. Be very afraid."

"Stop bickering or I'm going to ground you both," JJ squashed the banter as she returned from getting all the post-hospital information she needed to care for Emily's wounds and such.

The car ride to the apartment was quick despite the weekend traffic and filled with light-hearted conversation and jokes. Emily slowly unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car. Morgan was standing there ready to assist her the four feet to the elevator.

"Okay, Morgan, I'm injured, not an invalid. I can walk to the elevator by myself."

Morgan grumbled but still walked slightly behind Emily just in case anything was to happen. She rolled her eyes at his over-protectiveness but decided to drop it. JJ was prancing ahead of them carrying the two go bags and the house keys. She was glad to get out of the hospital and equally excited to get Emily back home. Though she expected some bumps as Emily relearned what her body could and couldn't handle, she hoped that Emily's mood with get better being in familiar surroundings. Hotch had already informed the brunette that she was to attend a weekly therapy session or she would not be in the field. And while Emily hadn't been happy about it, she wanted to get back to work and she knew Hotch wouldn't let it go.

The rest of the day was consumed with paint samples and fabric swatches. Morgan looked over the blueprints for the new house and gave in his two-cents. When JJ returned after running a few errands, she saw her fiancé asleep on the couch and Morgan sitting in an armchair reading one of Emily's copies of _Slaughterhouse Five_ by Kurt Vonnegut. The blonde nodded towards the kitchen and Morgan got up to help carry the groceries.

"Thanks for staying. It was nice to clear my head for a bit. How is she?"

"She seems normal, but there's a shine missing from eyes. When's her first therapy session?"  
"Tuesday at 11, I think. I wrote it down somewhere."

"Think she's going to go?"

"She doesn't have much of a choice. I'm driving her; I think she's going to put up a fight, but she knows if she wants to work in the field with you, she has to go. I really wish she would take some time off- I mean besides the time it takes for a knife wound to heal."

"That's like wishing for snow in hell."  
"Don't I know it? It worries me though that she doesn't seem affected, which means she's burying it deep inside. She's probably convinced she can deal with it by herself."

The two continued their conversation as they moved around the kitchen putting away groceries and supplies.

"On a happier note, have the two of you figured out how you're going to combine her immense load of crap with your equally immense load of more crap?"  
"I love when you talk about our possessions like that. No wonder you're always left out of the loop," JJ teased. "And no, we've decided on colors for the walls for almost everything. We've talked about larger pieces, but we're having extra closets built into the house."

"That may be the best idea I've heard all day. Pen said she's coming over for dinner. Want me to cook or want to order in?"

"Pass up a chance to have big, bad, ass-kicking FBI agent Derek Morgan show he has a softer side? Hell no. You can cook- everything you need is," JJ paused and looked around. "Well, everything you need is somewhere in this kitchen. Good luck." With another smirk, she turned to go check on her fiancé and let the man work his magic in the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly.

Rating: M

Author's Note: Alrighty, I'm back, and I have a nice long chapter for you. Sorry about the ridiculously, heinously long delay. I apologize! As always, reviews and ideas are awesome.

"If you make me lift another box, heaven help you. For two tiny women, you have an endless amount of crap. I swear, I bring a box in and then the ones left in the truck multiply exponentially," Morgan complained as he hiked yet another large overstuffed to the second floor master bedroom.

"Logically that can't happen," Reid supplied, countering Morgan's complaint.

"Oh shut up. You have an easy job because you have no muscle."

"That's because my muscle is my brain. That's where you are lacking muscle. And this isn't easy. Emily keeps redoing everything I put away."

Morgan scoffed as Emily rebutted, "If you would just follow the labeling system, I wouldn't have go redo everything. You're a certified genius; it shouldn't be that hard."

"Are you going to feed me ever? Or am I just working for free here?" Morgan shouted as he came down the stairs.

"Whining doesn't suit your muscled physique," Garcia teased from her perch at the granite-topped island. "The pizza should be here soon, so stop your complaining. You will be fed soon enough, and if I recall, there are more boxes in the truck."

Morgan made some slur of noises in response as he trekked out to the car like a sullen child.

"Wow," Emily laughed, "talk about mature..."

"If you keep picking on him, he's going to quit and we will have to hire a mover." JJ said knowingly as she took a sip of her Diet Coke.

"I had planned to, but this just seemed so much more fun. I'm tempted to hire someone to unpack it all. Have you seen how many boxes are supposed to fit in the closet? I'm starting to think we're crazy for trying to make this all fit," Emily countered.

"You're one of the nation's best profilers and you're just now realizing how damn crazy you are. There's something wrong with that, Princess." Morgan teased from behind a new pile of boxes.

"Here let me help you," Emily said, getting up from her bar stool perch.

"Sit your pretty little ass down. If you reopen those damn stitches, I'm going to have you committed."

Emily huffed her disapproval, but sat down anyway. JJ smirked at the exchange, but she was seriously considering super-gluing Emily's wound together with the amount of times it needed to be re-stitched.

"When do you come back to work?" Reid asked.

"As soon as my psych eval is passed, so as soon as the shrink thinks I'm sane, I guess."

"You don't have to wait for all the wounds to heal?"

"Most of them are healed. Just the knife wound, and it's almost there. The stitches just keep coming out for some reason."

JJ glared at her before starting, "That reason would be you can't sit still and have a tendency to do every activity the doctor forbid you to do."

"Wait," Garcia interrupted, "we have to wait for you to be sane? Good god, we are never going to get you back. You're as crazy as the rest of us; I mean you are one of us, after all."

"That's what I keep saying. I mean, I wasn't exactly born sane and normal. What makes him think I will be sane after months of talking to him? My god, the man has an ego that rivals a hot air balloon."

"Em..." JJ started.

"I know. I know. Be nice to the man. He's only trying to help, but I don't need help, Jayje. I'm fine."

The doorbell rang announcing the arrival of the glorious pizza.

"Saved by the bell," JJ hummed as she left the kitchen.

Two hours later, with the house cleared of their motley crew and the couple drowning in cardboard boxes, Emily and JJ sat perched on their kitchen island.

"Welcome home, babe," JJ said sweetly, gently touching her glass to Emily's with a cling. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," the brunette leaned back, resting her hands behind her on the cool, dark granite.

"Why did you ask me to get married?"

"I'm sorry. What?"

"Why? It's not legally accepted really, and we already planned to have a kid. So why?"

"It's not about whether we're legally seen as a couple or not. I want to stand in front of our friends and family and promise to be yours forever. I want that eternal, united as one thing. We were going to be a family either way, but you deserve a ceremony in your honor, filled with the love I have for you. Does that cover it?"

"Yeah, yeah, it does. Perfectly. How did I get so lucky?" JJ leaned forward, kissing Emily passionately. Emily moaned into the kiss, reveling in the feeling of JJ's soft lips.

"Hmm, I ask myself that everyday. Do you know how amazing you are?" Emily whispered delicately into JJ's ear.

"No, I think you should show me. And as much as I would love to break in our brand new kitchen counter, we should probably move this to our exceptionally new, exceptionally comfy king bed upstairs."

Emily nodded her consent as JJ slid gracefully off the counter, extending a hand for Emily to take. The blonde led the way through a labyrinth of boxes.

Once the bedroom door closed, Emily turned JJ gently and pulled their bodies tightly together. Emily glided them over to the edge of the bed, never breaking the kiss that had been created. She removed JJ's shirt and looked down appreciatively. She skated gentle fingertips down the blonde's sides and over her toned stomach. Emily's lips attached to JJ's pulse point, marking the woman's neck as hers. As JJ moaned, Emily could feel the sensual vibrations through her lips and continued her gentle ministrations. Emily kissed her way down to the full breasts of her lover before kissing the tops of each breast as she reached around and removed the offending item. JJ leaned into Emily's talented mouth and laced her fingers through the silk-like strands of Emily's dark hair. She was distracted by Emily's lips caressing and sucking her tend breast and didn't notice her shorts fall to the floor. Emily pushed her back gently until JJ's knees hit the bed. Taking the hint, JJ sat down and scooted to the center of the bed, coaxing Emily back to her with a curled finger. Emily crawled over her lover before meeting their lips in another romantic, passionate kiss. JJ started to finger the hem of Emily's shirt, but Emily stopped her. Interlacing their fingers, Emily pulled back to shake her head gently.

"Not about me," she said quickly and quietly, averting her eyes from her lover before making her way to JJ's parted legs. JJ knew the brunette was worried about showing her scars, but she also didn't want to emotionally push her too far. The thoughts were placed on the back burner as Emily's fingers danced along the lace edges of her panties.

"Em..." she moaned loudly. "Please touch me."

"But I'm having such fun," Emily countered in a teasing whisper, continuing to sprinkle touches around her lover's center.

JJ moaned loudly. "Not fair," she struggled to say as passion was quickly eroding her ability to speak coherently.

"All is fair in love and war," Emily whispered into JJ's ear as her fingers finally passed the lacy, cotton barrier.

"Jesus, Em," JJ sighed as her lover grazed her needy clit.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"God, yes. More please." JJ squirmed on the bed underneath Emily's expert hand. Within no time, she was reaching her peak and chanting Emily's name. Emily crawled back up to her lover and kissed her gently as she returned from her natural high. JJ kissed back forcefully, hoping to show how much she wanted the other woman. Emily quickly and easily slid from her grasp and off the bed. "I'm uhh going to check the alarm system. I'll be back." JJ sighed as she watched her lover walk to the far wall of their bedroom and check the status of the system.

"Come back to bed," JJ requested. The brunette seemed too intrigued by the system to even turn around. "Emily?" JJ asked. Emily turned slightly, her arms wrapped around her torso. She kept quiet as she stared off into one of the darker corners of the room. "Baby, come here," JJ commanded softly. "Please talk to me. We don't have to do anything else." She watched the brunette shift nervously on the balls of her feet. She slid off the bed and walked over to Emily. Gently placing her hands on either side of Emily's face, she brought the dark brown eyes to meet her brilliantly blue ones. "Talk to me." The request was a little less than a whisper, but its tone resounded in Emily's, echoing around the fortifying walls she built to protect herself. Emily turned out of JJ's grasp and sat gingerly on the corner of the bed. Instead of immediately going to her, JJ rifled through her bag in the corner. She pulled out a big nightshirt and a pair of boxers. Slipping into them, she walked into the bathroom and pulled her messy blonde hair into an unkempt ponytail. Going through her usual nighttime routine, she stopped and stood against the doorframe. Emily still perched uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. JJ crawled to the opposite side of the bed, kneeling behind Emily. She put her hands softly on Emily's shoulders and recoiled when Emily flinched. Emily looked around and apologize immediately when she realized she had flinched at J's nurturing touch. It had happened before; JJ knew why, but that didn't dull the hurt. She smiled sweetly, shaking her head, as Emily apologized over and over again.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm sorry I scared you," JJ said quietly, hoping her words would reassure her lover in a way her touch couldn't. Emily's eyes followed JJ's movements as she moved to sit next to Emily, side-by-side. JJ interlaced their fingers, almost sighing in relief when Emily didn't move away from the physical connection. "I love you, Em- all of you, your past, your present, your future. Please let me in."

"I'm sorry I flinched, Jayje. I am."

"Not about that. That, I understand. Why don't you want me to see you? Touch you? Make love to you?" Emily shrugged uncomfortably, trying to avoid the thoughts swirling in her mind. "Please, Emily. Please." The soft, pleading tone of JJ's request broke through Emily's defense.

"I'm different. It's not what it used to be." Emily's whisper came out rushed and insecure.

"What?"

"I'm ugly now. What he did, it made me ugly. It's not something you want to see. I don't want you to see it. It's just a painful reminder of my inability to protect myself." This time, her whisper was filled with venom. Anger and disappointment filled each breath.

"Emily," JJ started, startled by the brunette's confession. She would never have guessed Emily felt ugly. "My god, I wish you could see what I see. You are gorgeous. Everything about you is beautiful, and I wish I could make you see. You are so far from ugly. Please let me show you." JJ stood from the bed and moved Emily to stand in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom. "Do you trust me?"

Emily, resigned and insecure, nodded and bit her lip. JJ slowly removed Emily's clothes and stood behind the injured brunette. "What do you see?"

"I see someone who's broken."

"I see a brave, strong, independent woman who can beat her demons." Emily snorted in disbelief.

"How is what you see so different from what I see?"

"Because I love you regardless of what your skin looks like, how many stitches you have, or how many demons you have swirling in that brain of yours. I love you, and I want to help whether I'm battling demons or reminding you how truly beautiful you are." Emily nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek. Averting her eyes from her lover's gaze, she looked at the floor and unconsciously covered the wound on her stomach. "What is it?"

"I just don't understand."

"What, baby?"

"You." JJ raised her eyebrows. If anything, Emily knew her better than she knew herself.

"What?" she asked again, confusion lacing her question.

"You still want me." Emily's statement, again, surprised the blonde.

"Of course, I do. That won't ever change."

"I just don't understand how you can see these scars, bruises, and everything, and still want me."

"Emily, listen to me," JJ said, moving to stand in front of the brunette, face-to-face. "I'm in love with your personality, your character, and your body. You're a little bruised and battered. That doesn't change my desire for you. In fact, it makes me want to love and worship your body in a way that reminds you how perfect you are, despite other situations. You turn me on and get me off in ways no one else ever could, and now, I'm all yours." JJ stood on her tiptoes and kissed the brunette. "Let me show you," JJ whispered in Emily's ear. Emily nodded slowly, still a little reluctant and unsure. "If you feel uncomfortable, we'll stop. Okay? You're in complete control." She had worked with enough victims to know what they needed, and although she hated referring to Emily as a victim, even in her head, she knew sex, most of all, needed to be treated with kid gloves. Emily nodded again, taking a deep breath. "Don't be nervous. It's just me. I want you to feel beautiful. I want you to feel loved." Emily nodded and finally moved her hands to rest on Jennifer's sides. The brunette played with the hem of JJ's pajama shirt as their kiss deepened. As she tried to lift it over JJ's head, JJ stopped her. "This is about you."

"I want to feel your skin. I need to feel your skin. I don't want to remember his." JJ nodded knowingly and quickly removed her clothes. She led Emily back to their bed before laying her down in the middle. Hovering over her, JJ kissed her eyes, nose, and jaw before landing on her swollen lips. Emily pulled JJ's weight onto her, causing JJ's thigh to grind against Emily's center.

"I don't want to hurt you," JJ said, trying to return to her hovering position as opposed to laying her full weight on the woman below her.

"You're not," Emily replied, holding the blonde firmly in place, before capturing her lips again. JJ ground her thigh against Emily again, causing the brunette to groan deeply. The noise was stifled by JJ's mouth. JJ could feel Emily's arousal against her leg and grinned when Emily lifted her hips to meet JJ's leg again. JJ took that as a cue to continue and kissed down Emily's jaw to her neck. Stopping to suck and lick the hollow of Emily's collar bone, her hands continued to roam as the tenderly glazed over Emily's body. The vibrations from Emily's moaning tickled the blonde's lips, so she moved down slowly before pleasuring Emily's breasts. Emily arched into JJ's touch as her shaking groan sliced the otherwise silent bedroom. JJ's touches moved further south and she stopped to meet Emily's eyes. Emily had her eyes closed and was slightly biting her lower lip.

"Open your eyes. Look at me, Em, only at me. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" JJ cooed gently, moving her hands higher up on the brunette's body. When the brunette kept her eyes closed, JJ kissed each of her eyelids and then her lips. She whispered again, her lips brushing Emily's. "Emily?" Emily's forehead creased in concentration as her eyes fluttered open, immediately looking to the side. "Look at me, Em." reluctantly, Emily turned her eyes to meet the blue ones she had fallen in love with. "There we go. See? It's just me. We are alone in our new house where we are going to raise a family. You are safe. Do you want me to stop?" her question was gentle, laced with supportiveness and understanding. Emily shook her head no and swallowed deeply, trying to rid herself of the nervous feeling. "Are you sure? We don't have to do this. This is about you, and if you aren't ready, we can stop here for now."

"Okay," her voice came out asan unexpected, hoarse whisper. "Can you just uhh," she paused momentarily, gathering enough confidence to speak, "can you just hold me, please?" JJ gently kissed her in response.

"Of course, i can." she climbed over her lover's body and cuddled close behind her, fitting her body perfectly with Emily's curves. She draped an arm protectively over Emily's middle, holding her close. She breathed in Emily's scent and whispered a final goodnight before dozing off into dreamland.

Emily heard JJ's breath even out and relished in the comfort of JJ's embrace. She wouldn't get too much sleep; she never did, but this was as close to comfortable as she was going to get for the time being.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Rating: M

Author's Note: I think this is the last chapter. I hope you enjoy. Thank you all for flagging the story and sticking with me through the end of it! As usual, please review!

"Hello, Emily. How are you feeling today?" Doctor LeBlanc glanced over his yellow legal pad at the brunette awkwardly perched on the couch.

"I'm fine. And you?"

"Are we going to spend another session staring at each other in silence? Or are we going to get to the real reason you're here?"

"I uh think I'm ready to talk."

"Good. That's definite progress. What brought this about?"

"My fiancée thinks I'm beautiful still. I don't understand how she still thinks that. I need to get to a point where I can look in the mirror and not cringe. Being able to close my eyes and actually sleep wouldn't be too shabby either," Emily joked uncomfortably.

"How is JJ?"

"She's great about it all. I know she wants me to let her in and talk to her, but it's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"Because both of us don't need to live with the knowledge of what happened in the basement."

"But she saw it all, heard some of it. She's affected too, in a different way. Maybe it would be good for your relationship."

"Maybe. I wouldn't even know how to bring that up."

"Why don't you try asking her how she feels?"

"I'm not treating JJ like she's a crazy and I'm her shrink."

"You are not a crazy."

"Then let me go back to work," Emily reasoned.

"You will be the first to know when I think you're ready to return to work. That all depends on how you are coping with your experiences."

"I cope just fine. Thanks."

"Well, tell that to the dark circles growing under your eyes."

Emily grunted at his response though she knew he was right. She couldn't handle being out in the field with victims and killers alike if she couldn't clear her mind. At this realization, she sighed, causing Doctor LeBlanc to raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You're right." Doctor LeBlanc sputtered.

"I'm sorry. I'm right? Care to elaborate. I feel like this is a once in a lifetime moment that I should have captured on Kodak camera or at least with a tape recorder."

"Very funny," Emily responded drily. "I understand that I need to be able to cope with my past and be able to clear my mind before I can work in the field. In this condition, I'm just a danger to my team, and that's the last thing I want. They're my family."

"Good; so next session, we will delve further into the specific bits that are continuing to, for lack of a better word, terrorize you."

"Great. I just can't wait. See you Thursday."

"Before you go, I have an assignment for you."

"Again, great. I just can't wait."

"Talk to JJ- ask her how she feels about the situation and its aftermath."

"Ugh," Emily grumbled, but nodded in response as she exited the room.

_How the hell am I going to start that conversation_, Emily thought to herself as she drove herself home. _If I ask her what I'm supposed to, then she's going to ask me the same thing. I don't know if I'm strong enough to verbalize all that. Saying it out loud makes it so real._ One part of her brain argued that the scars and memories made it real, and saying it out loud to her fiancée and best friend shouldn't be that hard. _God damnit. Let's be real. JJ broke through my walls years ago. This shouldn't be any different. Why can't I just talk to her and let her in? Okay, you can do this. The sooner you can talk to her about it, the sooner you will be able to talk to LeBlanc about it, and the sooner you can get back to work._ Emily sighed in resignation, hoping this conversation wouldn't be miserable. Glancing down at her watch, she realized JJ would be home in an hour and a half, giving her the perfect amount of time to take a shower and make dinner.

45 minutes later, JJ pulled into the garage and rested her head against the steering wheel, preparing herself to watch painful memories swirl in dark, haunted depths of her lover's gorgeous brown eyes. She understood why Emily didn't talk about it; she did, but it didn't ease the hurt she felt when Emily obviously avoided talking to her. Finally, easing herself out of her car, she walked into the kitchen and smiled as she saw Emily cooking, the brunette swaying her hips slightly as she sipped from an amber liquid in a shallow glass. JJ walked up behind Emily and put her hands on Emily's hips and whispered into her ear, "Well hello there sexy."

Emily leaned back into JJ's warm body and smiled before turning her head to kiss JJ gently. "Hey baby," she mumbled against the blonde's lips.

"Mmm, you taste like whiskey. I'm jealous. Something smells great though. What are you making?"

"Sorry, it's a confidence boost," Emily replied, to which JJ raised an eyebrow slightly; worry settling in the pit of her stomach. "I'm making baked chicken and some steamed vegetables. And, for my amazing, pregnant fiancée, I have a strawberry cake with chocolate chips and vanilla icing. There's even some peanut butter to put on it if the craving hits."

"Hmmm, you can read me like a book. It smells so damn good. Why, pray tell, do you need a confidence boost?"

"What can I say? I know my media liaison well. It should be ready in about 20. Why don't you go take a shower? By the time you're done, the food will be ready."

JJ replied with a simple ok and a kiss before sauntering off to the master bedroom of their brand new house.

"So good, Em," JJ moaned as she devoured an extremely large piece of cake.

Emily laughed, "I think I'm offended that the cake can make you moan like I do in the privacy of our bedroom."

"Now, you know what that sounds like, and you are the only one who can make me make that noise. This cake, however, comes pretty close."

"Well, as long as I'm the only one, I guess I'm okay with that."

"Now and for the rest of forever, Em. Only you; you're it for me. You know that right? And I love you more than I ever thought possible." JJ spoke sincerely, hoping to convey the true intensity of her love for the other woman. Emily smiled, but averted her eyes at the random expression of the blonde's feelings. JJ nudged her with a naked foot from under the table. "You know that right?"

"Yeah, yeah I do. It's just nice to hear sometimes, and also a bit surprising I guess."

"Surprising?" JJ asked.

"You know... I mean... That sounded different than I intended... I just... I don't know what I'm talking about. Never mind. I know you love me. I love you too," Emily sputtered, tripping over her words before taking a healthy sip from another glass of amber liquid. JJ looked at her skeptically over the rim of her Diet Coke.

"What's up with you tonight?" JJ's concerned voice wafted towards Emily like an unpleasant scent. "You seem off."

"I'm not off, per say. I'm just nervous, I guess." Emily's eyes making steady eye contact with the glassy finish on the table.

"Nervous about what?" JJ prodded, cautiously watching as Emily downed the rest of the whiskey in the glass.

"I wanted to talk to you," Emily paused. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, she plunged into what she knew would be an uncomfortable conversation. "I wanted to talk to you about Anderson and the basement and all that."

"Really?" JJ couldn't keep the utter shock out of her voice.

"Yeah, I mean only if that's okay. I know you've got a lot on your plate too. I just thought... Well I just... I don't know," Emily rambled, quickly losing composure of her previously organized thoughts.

"Hey, Em, stop. I always want to know what is going on in that mind of yours. You are my best friend, my fiancée, my everything. Got it? I want to know. I'm just surprised you wanted to share. That's all."

"Oh, yeah. I guess that's a bit different. I'm sorry for blocking you out. I didn't mean to put you on the outside of my walls. It just sort of happened that way, but please know it wasn't my intention. And I'm trying to take the walls down to let you back in. It's just taking some time."

"It's okay. I understand. I'm just glad you're trying. More whiskey? It seems to help your nerves."

"Yeah, thanks," Emily nodded her consent as JJ poured another generous serving of whiskey into the glass.

"Okay, where to start?" Emily asked more to herself than the blonde waiting patiently to her right. "Umm, well, I guess, I finally realized this is catching up with me. I need to talk to through it and heal because I need to be in the field. Right now, I can't be in the field without jeopardizing all of you. And actually more than that, I need sleep. God, it's gotten so bad I can't even close my eyes without remembering that basement. I can't be this way when our child is born. I don't want those memories to feed into the new ones. I need to learn to separate and move on. This isn't something I can compartmentalize. I just, honestly, don't know where to start to get back to who I was. I know I will be different; that bothers me, but not as much as not having any control over anything really. I'm so broken and everything is spiraling that I don't know where or how to start putting things back together. I need help, Jen."

"No matter how long it takes, I'm here," JJ said, squeezing Emily's hand reassuringly. "How can I help?"

"Tell me how you feel because I can't even begin to verbalize everything. For some reason, I feel like the first step of moving on is getting it out in the open. I know it's going to be awful and awkward, but some part of me is convinced that that's the first step."

"So you want to know how I felt when exactly?"

"I don't know- all of it?"

"Okay... Let's see. First and foremost, fear. Without a doubt, I saw you on that screen, and my heart stopped beating. Morgan dragged me from the conference room, and I felt numb. I couldn't differentiate from reality and a nightmare, and I was useless. Then, I felt guilty. We should have gone home together. I shouldn't have insisted on 'alone time' or whatever nonsense I spewed after that case. I should have been with you. We couldn't find you and we had nothing; I felt hopeless. You said your goodbyes and I was angry; angry because we couldn't find you, because you were gone, because you were giving hope, because I had given up hope. I heard him rape you and I have never felt so much venom and hatred course through my blood than I did at that moment. Hotch told Garcia to check your next of kin. I was so scared we had to pull over on the way to the hospital so I could vomit. Your mother showed up and I was defensive. I saw you and wanted to cry. You looked so fragile, but you were alive. You woke up and I wanted to cry. You started to recover, and I was scared. I could see the pain in your eyes, in each of your movements. You acted as though nothing bothered you, and I was terrified. I startle you and I feel guilty and hurt. I feel you toss and turn or get up in the middle of the night, and I want to hold you because maybe that can chase away your demons. I feel helpless because I don't know how to help, what to say, or how to act. Right now though, I'm proud you let me in." JJ looked at Emily, tears silently rolling down her cheeks, her blue eyes glistening with tears to be shed. Emily's heart clenched as JJ described her feelings. "Your turn."

"My turn. Oh shit," Emily cursed, swigging from her drink. "Okay, I was confused, guilty, relieved, alone, scared, hopeless, angry, faithless, and uhhh suicidal." She mumbled the last, but it echoed loudly in JJ's ears.

JJ took a deep breath, willing her tears to stay at bay. "Okay," she started, her voice wavering as she spoke. "What about each one?"

"I was confused for the obvious reasons. I didn't know where I was or why I had been targeted, I guess. I was guilty because I couldn't protect myself, and I felt weak because of it. I was relieved that you weren't there because he would have killed you. Then, I would have had nothing to live for. I was alone- even when he was there. I wished and prayed that I was anywhere else, surrounded by the people who loved me. Something about the dark, dampness of that basement made me feel so lonely. I was hopeless because as good as our team is, I was still in the basement. As much as I tried to ignore his words, I couldn't. I was angry with myself for giving up on our team, but I was in so much pain. I just wanted it to end, whichever way was fastest. I've never been one to be religious, but in that basement, I had never felt more abandoned by what god was supposed to be up there watching over me." Emily stopped, taking another sip. JJ waited for her to continue, and when it seemed like Emily wasn't planning on resuming, she prodded, "And suicidal?"

"I... Ummm... Yeah."

"Please, Em. Don't shut me out now."

"I welcomed the darkness of unconsciousness. I didn't feel pain; I didn't feel alone. I dreamed of you and everything was okay."

"Passing out isn't dying, Em."

"But dying would have meant not waking up in that basement to more torture. Not feeling him inside of me. Not aching at a level of pain I didn't know existed. Dying would have been an exit strategy, and God knows I needed one of those."

"Em...do you," JJ started, but her question died on her lips. Emily waited. "Do you still feel that way?" JJ's finished question was almost an inaudible whisper. The fear laced in her words didn't come close to expressing her feelings.

Emily stood and pulled JJ to her feet, wrapping the blonde in a tight hug. JJ gripped the back of Emily's shirt in clenched fists and cried into Emily's neck. Emily held her, comfortingly stroking JJ's hair. Emily kissed JJ's forehead before whispering in her ear, "No. As much as those memories haunt me, I want to be right here with you everyday. I want to be your wife. I want to wake up beside you every morning and fall asleep next to you every night. I want to spend every moment in between showing you how much I love you and the family we are making together."

"Promise?" JJ's defeated whisper was muffled by Emily's neck.

"Yes, I promise." JJ seemed satisfied with that response, though Emily knew JJ would continue to think about it. "Let's go to bed, Jen," Emily continued softly, easing the blonde out of her hug and towards the stairs. JJ agreed, emotionally exhausted, and made her way to the bedroom, grasping Emily's hand tightly.

Once in bed, JJ curled into Emily's side. Hearing Emily exhale a deep sigh, she turned her head and whispered, "Please, Em. You can't leave me. I need you more than you will ever know. I love you."

"I love you too, Jayje. I love you too." Closing her eyes, she smiled when she was greeted by the comforting darkness of her eyelids instead of the gloomy, dimness of the darkened basement. Maybe she would get some sleep after all- either way she was a step closer to moving on. She could feel it, and that thought and the warm body of her lover gave her the comfort of safe night and a better tomorrow.


End file.
